Yeah yeah, I haven't been on here in like ages. Never even used the thing. Myspace ( www.myspace.com/darkning )seems more convenient I guess. :/ For those of you that know or don't know my parents are missionaries(Christian) in Germany and my two brothers(7 and 15) and I are with them.... Until we leave the house or whatever. Anyways we're back in the States from Oct. 10th-March 6th for the Holidays and taking care of my preparations for university.




I'm still not mentally ready for college, but alot could change in the next 9 months before I should start. My parents told me that if I just wasn't ready they weren't going to hate me for not going right off as soon as I finish High School. I just don't want to fail at life by making a wrong step. The other night I just had a buildup of stress from everything concerning my future, my concerns, my worries, my expectations and the expectations of my family. I just pretty much broke down in front of my parents, which really helped me to get alot of stuff off of my chest. My dilemma was turned from "I just don't want to make you guys feel like you have a failed son" to where I was with my relationship with God. Man, I love my parents. I'm SO lucky to have parents that are still together, non-divorced, and love me so much. Regarding my relationship with God..... I've just come to a place where if I don't see him start moving in my life, if I don't start hearing things from him, if I don't get a fresh revelation, really, I dunno what I'll do. As my dad said, "You've come to the end of yourself, and that's a really good place to be."



On other notes I had a good Thanksgiving with all 5000 family members. Yum Yum. Family and food. XD What is it about Thanksgiving that everybody associates turkey with?? I mean, the pilgrims were thankful, not turkeys. No, I'm not suggesting we should eat pilgrims for thanksgiving but I wonder why certain stereotypes get imprinted in our minds so often?



Haha, what a random rant... Oh well. Nothing wrong with writing out what's going on. I'mma get my drivers license sometime soon, which I'm nervous but excited about all at the same time. I guess I won't truly feel like I'm moving up in the world until I get a car. All in good time........